by admin on September 7, 2011

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Listening Is A Vital Key To Good Communication

What Does Great Communication Look Like Part 2: “Listening”

“Great Real Estate Agents Understand Exceptional Listening Is A Vital Communication Skill”

ListeningLeornardo da Vinci astutely observed that the average person ”Looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without odour of fragrance, and talks without thinking’.

You see the world is divided into two types of people. Those of us who don’t know and those of us who don’t know that we don’t know.

“Why Listening Is so Crucial”

My aim in this series is to point out what great communication looks like, so when you are thinking of choosing an agent, you understand what to really look for when assessing who you are going to appoint. Most people choose the agent who gives an opinion of value closet to what their opinion of value is and/or the lowest fees. This is very, very dangerous.

Of all the aspects of communication, listening is by far the most important. I know that’s not good news, as it naturally feels better talking than it does listening. Think of someone you know who is NOT a good listener. Frustrating isn’t it? And how does that make you feel about that person.

Active listening, not just hearing is tiring. We aren’t taught it at school. A study by Paul Rankin found in a typical day the average person:

  • Listened 45% of the time
  • Spoke 30%
  • Read 16%
  • Wrote 9%

People are drawn to a good listener and if you are a real estate agent reading this I can’t emphasize enough to focus on thisListening skill if you want to accelerate your business and help more people. People who are poor listeners see listening as passive and there fore unproductive. Their ego gets in the way They feel as though they need to be talking in order to make an impact. I’m even surprised at the number of Real Estate coaches who haven’t mastered the skill of active listening, of connecting. It’s all about what they want to say not about what the subject really needs. I love this poem:

His  thoughts were slow,

His words were few,

And never made to glisten,

But he was a joy,

Where ever he went,

You should of heard him listen.

What Does Good Listening Look Like and How To Improve your Listening Skills

There is a major obstacle in effective listening. We think much faster than we talk.

  • We talk at 120-150 words per minute
  • We think at 600-800 words per minute

This means we tend to think of lots of other things other than what is being said(especially if the speaker is uninteresting). Some don’ts in good listening are:

  • Don’t talk over the top of the other person
  • Don’t finish the speakers sentences
  • Don’t Offer advice too soon
  • Don’t look away while the speaker is speaking

ListeningGood listeners when they are interupted bring the conversation back to where they were. “So what were you saying? Thats right, your…”

Good listeners look the speaker in the eyes and nod in a agreement when they are speaking.

Good listeners paraphrase to demonstrate they are empathetic. For example “Let me just clarify what you’re saying. You are really concered about the auction process because you see so many properties not selling and you haven’t got the money to lose. Is that right?”

In summary, people confuse hearing and listening. Hearing is a sensory activity. Listening is a psychological activity and is concerned with meaning and understanding from what’s being heard. Questions are the glue that binds listening skills together. Next post we will cover that all important skill of asking the right questions. Find  a real estate agent who is a good listener and you strike gold.

Until next time…keep listening :)

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